Where's My "I Survived The Holidays 2009" T-Shirt?!?

Janunary 2, 2009

It's lucky that I'm alone right now. No, I'm not mad at anyone nor is there any reason for me to be angsty because overall life is treating me well. But...but... I'm hungry and I'm getting "back on the carb and sugar wagon" after pushing my luck micro-sampling the holiday treats from the Harry and David tower my brother sent and for no good reason today I would kill for a grilled cheese.

Will I have one? No. I have been very lucky in that my BGI has not gotten out of the normal range since I brought it down. None of the 71 pounds I have lost have made a reappearance. Hooray for that.



January 4, 2009

Okay, its a couple of days later and I'm feeling better. Sorry for making this latest entry so diary-like. The holidays were not nearly as hard for me as they were some of the people in my DM support group. I'm also blessed with friends and family who are extremely and sometimes almost preternaturally supportive. This makes a huge difference and I am only too aware of how very lucky I am to have these people in my life.

As of last night, I'd lost 72 pounds. Sometimes its easy to forget how losing that much weight can change the way a person looks. There are quite a few people I see on a regular basis who recognize me but probably don't know my name. Over the past few months, especially after I passed the fifty pound mark of loss, someone would compliment me and then ask how I did it. This is where it gets a little hard because in real life I am an extremely private person but I also want people to be more aware of diabetes in particular and the living a better life in general, so I bite the bullet and talk.

How did I do it? Diet and exercise.

Then there's almost always the pause and the incredulous look, followed by, "Well, yeah, but how...?"

"Diet and exercise."

"But..."

"Diet and exercise."

I usually go on and explain that as a diabetic, I can't eat anything starchy or sugary. Rice, bread, pasta and anything high in carbs and/or naturally occurring sugar are not in my diet anymore. I tell them about dusting off the treadmill and rediscovering my love of hockey and football (soccer) and football (football) and lacrosse and movies so that my walks are accompanied by images and stories that inspire me.

That is almost always followed by another "Well yeah, but..."

So I ask them what they are asking me. Then it comes out that they were hoping it was either some new medical miracle or at the very least a magical solution that will work without sacrifice or effort. At that point, I smile, tell them it's just one of those things where you have to decide you're ready and then move forward and that I'll be happy to answer questions and help if they ever want me to.

There is no shortcut. There is no magic bullet. People who do this have either reached a place emotionally where they are willing to change for it's own sake or like me, they have reached an end point where their body will take no more and they either change or sicken and die. To a certain extent vanity could play a part, but this is really more about falling in love with being in your own skin and loving being alive. It's about loving the workouts and loving the change. It sounds like a simplification but some of the simplest things can be the hardest to manifest.


copyright 2009 jas faulkner